Utsuro no Hako:Volume1 Epilogue

It is magnificent weather with a deep blue sky.
The first thing I did after waking up was to confirm today's date on my mobile phone. «April 7». Today's «April 7». I also checked in the newspaper and on the TV to confirm that it's really «April 7». Well, of course I know that there's no meaning in such a confirmation. But since the time I was involved in the 'Rejecting Classroom', I can't help but do so. Or else I become very anxious.
The events of the 'Rejecting Classroom' remained in form of knowledge. But I can only recall those memories with a feeling of looking at pictures that were snapped at a place I've never been. The 'box', Maria, '0' - I know what they are. But the corresponding emotions are not there anymore. No anger, no sadness - nothing. So even if I was in love with someone, I would have probably forgotten it by now. Maybe I'm going to gradually forget those memories because they are so faint.

Including Maria.
I mean, we weren't supposed to meet anyway, so I'm sure we won't meet a second time.
Anyhow, today's «April 7», the day of the opening ceremony.
I've become a second year student.
My classroom changed from the 4th floor to the 3rd floor. It's not like the scenery really changed for the better just because the classroom changed its floor and moved a bit westwards. Nevertheless, the air feels completely different as I enter the classroom of the second year's 3rd class. I get so excited that I even seized my chest.
After checking the seating chart placed on the teacher's desk I sit down accordingly. My new classmates reply lively when I greet them lightly with a «Let's get along well». Yeah, I feel good vibes.
Another one enters the classroom.
He discovers me and raises his hand.
"Heyho, Hoshii! So we're in the same class again!"
Despite it being ordinary words, the glances of all the other 15 class members focus on us. Yeah, Haruaki is as loud as ever.
"...Haruaki."
"Mh, what's the matter?"
I look at him with suspicious eyes.
"The original?"
"...why do I look like a fake? Did you perhaps think I were some twin of myself? Were you influenced by some super famous manga so that you now think that all high-school baseball pitchers are twins?!"
"...no."
For some reason I start to doubt Haruaki's personality itself...
"Ah right, Hoshii! Come to think of it--"
"'Morning, Haru and Kazu-kun!"
A new voice interrupts Haruaki.
Kokone is standing by the door of the classroom. And beside her is Daiya.
Ah, did those two affectionately come to school together today as well? If I mentioned that, Daiya would make me suffer mental harassment all day long, though, so I don't say it out loud.
"My heart beat faster for a second, being greeted by a girl, but whaat, it's just you, Kiri? What a waste of my excitement."
"Hey Haru... What's with that reaction? Who do you think you are?"
"Er, well, I'd just like you to stop being so obsessed about me that you would chase after me just to be in the same class."
"Haa... so you try to hide your embarrassment of being fascinated by me with such phrasing? You wea~~lly are a child, Haru-chan, awen't you? Ah, right. Can you finally stop filling your mobile phone with my Moe voice?"
"Who would do such a thing!?"
"«My Masteer~»... come on! Now's the chance to add some new data to the Haru Moe-Moe voice collection! Shall I give you one more chance? If you like, I can add a «Welcome home~» this time?!"
What's with this conversation... Please stop it, it's embarrassing.
"Haa... hey Kazu, do you have firecrackers by chance? I would love to ignite one and jam it into Kiri's mouth right now."
"And then what about you, Daiya? You're jealous that I provide my Moe Moe voice only to Haru? Don't worry! If you genuflect and kiss my feet, I'll say «Onii-chan» to you, bearer of a little sister fetish. Oh aren't I kind?!"
"How about a «Sorry for being born»?"
...nothing has changed at all with the class change.
But this is what I wished for.
I feel a bit lonely without Maria and Mogi-san, but to regain this is what I fought the 'Rejecting Classroom' for.
"...why are you grinning all by yourself? That's repulsive, Kazu!"
Daiya points me out.
"Ah, really. Kazu-kun's grinning. How horny he is. I bet he's imagining the girl sitting beside him, stumbling around clumsily--"
"I'm not."
I deny it immediately, making Kokone pucker her lips.
"But who's sitting there anyway? Do you know? Some cute girl?"
Haruaki asks me while shamelessly sitting on said seat. I know since I also checked the name of the people sitting in the neighboring seats when I looked up my own.
"Yeah. It's a cute girl!"
"For real?! Who is it?!"
She has a seat. I'm glad about that. The fact that she has a seat means that the possibility of her sitting there also exists.
Her seat won't be beside mine anymore by the time she returns, but I don't mind.
I tell them the name of the girl sitting beside me with a smile
"It's Mogi-san!"

✵

That day I almost thought the rain would continue for an eternity.
I headed to the hospital right after I heard of Mogi-san's accident from Daiya, therefore being absent from school. I used a taxi since the hospital she had been transported to was not within the city. An unbelievable behavior, considering that I value a peaceful life over anything.
But I had to do so. Since I have fought against the 'Rejecting Classroom', I had to know the outcome.
I was the first to reach the hospital, even before her family. Then I waited together with them, while being mistaken for her lover, for her operation to end.
The operation succeeded... apparently. But Mogi-san didn't regain consciousness on that day in the end.
It was two days later that I could finally meet her, since I wasn't allowed to enter the ICU. By then she had gotten moved to the general ward.
Mogi-san was on her bed looking very pitiful. The sound of the electro-cardiogram and the artificial respiration made my eardrums vibrate. Both her feet and arms were fixated, her face covered with bruises and one arm was hanging down, having turned violet due to the intravenous drip.
Seeing the wounded body of an acquaintance at an hospital alone almost made me reflexively shed tears. But I was not the only who wanted to cry. I wasn't allowed to cry in front of her. I suppressed my tears and looked at her face, peering just a little.
Mogi-san seemed a bit surprised when she saw me. I'm not too sure, though, since she didn't move her facial muscles.
Her family had told me that she may have regained consciousness, but not yet spoken a word because of shock.
But Mogi-san opened her mouth, trying to tell me something with all her might. I told her not to over-strain herself, but she didn't listen to me and tried to speak.
Mogi-san directed her first words at me, making her oxygen mask white with her breath.
"--I'm so glad. I survived."
I couldn't understand her well, but it sounded to me like this.
Mogi-san burst into tears after having said just that. When I let my gaze wander while being at loss where to look, I discovered her dirty bag beside the bed. I saw a silver wrapping in the opened bag. Knowing what it was, I took it in my hands unconsciously. A Teriyaki Burger flavored Umaibou. It was crumbled and not in its original form anymore. When I kept touching it thoughtlessly, I suddenly couldn't endure it any longer and broke out in tears.
I didn't know why it happened with this timing. I remember that she gave it to me in that world, but I can't recall the reason why she did so.
But my tears were real.

After that I went to her hospital room in the general ward several times. Mogi-san tried to talk to me as brightly as possible.
"While I was unconscious, I had a long dream."
Mogi-san told me this once. Apparently she believed it was all a dream.
A thought suddenly crossed my mind. Mogi-san couldn't escape from the fate of getting run over by a truck in that world. And the fact that she survived each time didn't change either. This might be the reason why the 'Rejecting Classroom' has remained intact, regardless how often she met with the accident.
But though she was able to survive, apparently she wouldn't be be able to move her lower body anymore. At the time of the accident, she suffered a blow to the back which injured her spinal cord. Chances of recovery were not just hopeless, it was actually impossible.
I couldn't help but stay silent since I didn't know what words to direct at her. To bridge the uneasiness Mogi-san had said as follows:
"I always thought that I'd think 'I had better died' if it came to this. You understand those thoughts, don't you, Hoshino-kun? After all I won't be able to walk with my own legs anymore. Even when I'd like to go buy me a little dessert at the convenience store next door, I won't be able to do so carefreely. I can only go if I depend on someone else or if I take out my wheelchair. All kinds of hardships just to buy a dessert! Isn't that cruel? But it's kind of strange. I don't think of dying at all. I wonder why? I think so, really, from the bottom of my heart---"
---that I'm glad being alive.
Mogi-san had said so without a bit sham or bluff.
"So I'm alright. I won't quit school either. No matter how much time it takes, I will recover. Maybe it won't be the same school like you guys anymore, but I won't give up."
She had smiled and had shown me her biceps weakly.
It's embarrassing to admit, but at that point I burst into tears in front of her. I was glad. Glad that her most important wish was granted.
--can I do something for you?
I want to help her as much as possible. I thought so in all honesty. Therefore I had asked her.
Mogi-san started off with, "I'm very happy that you ask this" and continued bashfully,
"I want you to reserve me a place to return to. I want you to build me a place to be once more."
--Once more? Did I ever build you a place to be?
"......within this long dream you have."
After responding like that, Mogi-san had averted her eyes for some reason.

✵

At the entrance ceremony.
I recall something as Haruaki sighs during the ceremonial address of the principal at the gymnasium.
"Come to think of it, Haruaki. Weren't you about to tell me something this morning?"
"Mh? ...aah, right! Right! I've heard some rumors that there's a super cute girl among the new students!"
Haruaki batters my shoulders and gives me a wink.
"Well, then I don't care. As senior I won't have any occasion to talk to her anyway."
"Are you an idiot?! Just being able to watch a cute girl is already happiness!"
I don't want to believe that this is the common perception.
"But when did you hear this rumor? Today's the first time we're going to see the new first years after all?"
"Will wonders never cease! It's Daiyan's information!"
"Daiya's?"
I can't believe this readily. I've never seen Daiya talk about a girl.
"You don't believe me, do you? But there is a proper reason that Daiyan knows! You know that Daiyan has only mistaken two problems in the entire entrance examination, right?"
"Yeah. He boasts about it frequently. That he established the record for our school."
"This record was beaten in just one year!"
Haruaki says so, happy with all his heart. He really can't be helped. ...But I can understand him.
"Err? What does this have to do with Daiya knowing about this cute girl?"
"You're really really dull, Hoshii. What I'm saying is, that this cute girl has beaten his record by getting perfect score in all subjects. Therefore, Daiyan was informed by the teachers, being the previous record holder. The teacher told him at the time that she was so beautiful that even he, as an adult, got nervous."
That's exaggerating. Getting nervous... in spite of having lived much longer?
The ceremonial address of the principal has ended during our talk.
The chairman turns on his microphone.
"Thank you very much, principal. ...let's proceed with the greeting of the freshmen representative--"
"Look, she's coming out! The rumored beauty!"
I see. She's the representative who does the greeting since she's also the top student.
It's started to interest even me, so I look around in order to find her.
"The representative of the freshmen--Maria Otonashi."
Maria--Otonashi?
A name that seems extremely familiar to me. ...no, no. That can't be. Maria was called Aya Otonashi, after all.
"Yes."
But this voice is without doubt hers. It's Maria's voice.
Aah, I see. I finally got it.
«If you've forgotten, remember now. My name's «Maria».»
Hah. So she was telling just the truth then.
...oh? So I was calling Maria all the time by her first name...? UWAA! UWAAAAAA!
"...why are you getting all red, Hoshii?"
She mounts the platform with more elegance than anyone else. She already has a great presence, having lived longer than anyone here.
The students get noisy just by her looking at her.
A face I know very well. This face of hers that has been beside me for a long time.
She's wearing a brand new uniform.
Yeah, I think that's against the rules. I'd never have thought she'd be younger than me.
Maria lets her glance wander about, standing at the platform. Her glance meets mine. And this wandering gaze stops on me for some reason.
Then she smiles.
My body gets easily and completely paralyzed by this.
Maria begins her speech without releasing me from her gaze. Even the noisy students get silent upon hearing her imposing voice.
"Isn't she somehow constantly looking over here? Oh shit, maybe she fell for me?"
Haruaki cracks jokes, but I am so absorbed by Maria's gaze I can't even respond.
I am only looking at Maria.
Maria is only looking at me.
"--I conclude the greeting of the freshmen. This was the representative of the freshmen, Maria Otonashi."
Maria alights the platform.
And right after doing so, the students became noisy again. No, not only the students. Even the teachers are in confusion.
But I am, without a doubt, the most confused.
Because Maria doesn't return to her original place, but heads towards me.
The students automatically make room in the direction of her movement, impressed by her authority. Maria takes advantage of this and heads to me straight ahead.
The path from her leading to me.
Aah, geez. Has she still not gotten rid of this habit from that world? It might be okay to have no reservation inside that world, but it doesn't work like that here, does it?
I already realize that my everyday life is going to get destroyed.
"Haha--"
But I laugh, nevertheless.
It's a real bother.
It's a real bother, but no... it just doesn't feel like one.
At last, the students in front of me move aside. Haruaki moves away from me, too. We are surrounded by empty room almost like the eye of the cyclone.
In the midst of the gaping wide space, Maria is standing in front of me.
I thought that we wouldn't meet anymore.
But thinking about it, there's no way she wouldn't come to my side.
After all, it's her goal to obtain a 'box'. She has no other choice but to approach me, who is targeted by '0'.
Maria smiles.
She opens her mouth easily.
"I'm always by your side no matter how much time passes--is how I declared war to you once, but this still continues, as it seems."
After having said so, she introduced herself once again.

"I am «Maria Otonashi». Pleased to meet you."
The freshman bows very deeply, like she did long ago in the past.
Therefore, I applaud like I did long ago in the past.
For a while, my clapping is all that resounds in the gymnasium.
Then Haruaki starts to applaud without knowing the situation. Pulled in by him, someone else starts applauding. Although nobody knows what happens, the applause grows louder.
In the middle of this magnificent applause, she raises her face.
But she's not smiling anymore.
She's clenching her fist strongly and looking straight at me in an imposing manner.