Utsuro no Hako:Volume1 27756th time (ch30)

Utsuro no Hako:Volume1 27756th time

I have to end the 'Rejecting Classroom' and regain my everyday life.
What would be the worst that could happen to hinder me from attaining that goal?
To come upon a big obstacle? Say, one where I had to traverse a thin thread from one building to another? One where I had to repeat the same day for a million times?

I don't think that's the right answer. I mean, in that case I would know how to clear the obstacle. As hard as it may seem, I could still acquire the necessary skills during this almost unlimited time.
No, I believe the worst that could happen is not knowing what the obstacle is.
If I don't know what to do, I'm pretty much powerless. But since time does not go on in here, time won't solve the problem for me.
And I've just --- come upon this worst case scenario.
"What's wrong, Hoshii? Somehow you're acting strange today."
The break after the first lesson. Haruaki addresses me with with a light laugh.
The lesson has just ended, so no one's left the classroom yet. Mogi-san is sitting at her seat, too. Right --- all my 38 classmates are inside the classroom.
I try thinking about why the 'rejected' people are here, but for some reason I have forgotten almost everything from last time. I have a hunch that we found something out, but I can't remember anything.
But that's fine. That's still fine.
If we managed to find out something important, we'll find that out again in no time. It's a riddle to me why all my classmates have come back, but that doesn't affect my mission.
That's not the problem.
"But today sure is boring～. Nothing happening at all!"
Nothing special happened.
A dull pain runs through my chest due to Kokone's remark.
I don't want to believe this. I don't want to admit the current situation.
"Daiya."
I address Daiya behind me in a pleading voice. He turns only his head to me, waiting for my concern.
"Did you hear anything about a transfer student today?"
I say so with the faint hope that he would nod. But my question is---
"Haa? What are you talking about?"
---denied with a frown, as expected.
Right --- Aya Otonashi doesn't 'transfer' anymore.
Thus, I'm at a loss what to do now.
Find the 'owner'. And then, what? Take out the 'box'? Destroy the 'box'? How do I do that?
I intended to find a solution together with Maria. But that was just me leaning back. I was completely dependent on her, so I don't know what to do now that she's not here.

✵

"But listen, isn't it the same whether this is our everyday life or that 'Rejecting Classroom'?"
Haruaki replies to my question like this.
I consulted him during the breaks because I was at a loss what to do. And that is the answer I got from him at the back of the school building when I finished telling him everything during the lunch break.
I know Haruaki's personality. He didn't say that because he can't believe my absurd story.
"The same...?"
"Ah, no. It's not like I don't believe you, really. Just, well, let's say we really are inside that 'Rejecting Classroom'. What's different from the everyday life you long for then?"
"What's different? They're completely--"
"Equal, aren't they? The guys that seem to have disappeared, including me, have come back. Aya Otonashi wasn't a member of this class anyway. It just returned to how it used to be at the beginning. Or am I wrong?"
It just returned to how it used to be?
...Maybe.
After all, I might have never met her without the 'Rejecting Classroom', either.
No one knows about Maria. That's perfectly natural. Aya Otonashi's existence doesn't belong into the classroom 1-6 to begin with.
Maybe it was all a dream? Maybe Aya Otonashi was just an illusion of mine?
...I don't know. But it's still «March 02» today.
"But you know, if this is the 'Rejecting Classroom', then today's «March 02» will never end. So, can you still call it equal to our everyday life?"
I was sure Haruaki would agree with me. But...
"Actually, I had already considered that."
Contrary to my expectations, he tilts his head.
I am bereft of speech since he answers me so straightforward. Haruaki scratches his head awkwardly when he sees me like this and continues.
"I know what you want to say. But look, don't you get that uncomfortable feeling just because you know it's a cycle? What if, for example, your everyday life up to now had consisted of such long repeating days as well? You wouldn't have noticed, right? And indeed, I don't feel anything like this right now, either. I'm convinced that I'm in my usual everyday life at this very moment. Even if, for argument's sake, this is that 'Rejecting Classroom'."
He's --- right.
I get this feeling of discomfort and disgust because I'm aware of this recurrence. If I didn't know it, I wouldn't mind it at all.
I wouldn't even have this conflict right now if I didn't know about the 'Rejecting Classroom'. Even if the day was repeating, I could fully enjoy this everyday life provided to me. I could spend my time without knowing of a certain someone's tragic fate. It would be full of happiness, and convenient.
To destroy this is no more than mere self-satisfaction.
"I'm sure you've got it now, Hoshii. What do you have to do?"
"Yeah. I've got what I have to do."
"Right? Well then---"
Haruaki stops suddenly. I turn around in wonderment, and see Mogi-san standing there.
"What's the matter?"
I ask.
"I'd like to borrow Kazuki. Okay?"
Haruaki and I exchange glances as we hear her.
"Umm, Hoshii. You're okay with this much for now? If there's still something you want to tell me, I'll listen."
"Yeah, thanks Haruaki."
Haruaki leaves, saying "You're welcome".
I wonder what she wants from me. Did she specially search for me?
I focus on her face. What a pretty face. When I think so, I can't endure looking at her anymore and avert my eyes.
"------"
Even though she is the one that came to me, Mogi-san frowns.
"...let me ask you something. It may sound strange, but please answer without wondering."
"Ah, okay..."
I nod, but Mogi-san just keeps frowning, having trouble getting started. After a while, she apparently comes to a decision and looks me straight in the eye.
"Am I Kasumi Mogi?"
---Hah?
Because I didn't expect such a question at all, I can't even be surprised and just keep standing still with a serious face.
Mogi-san averts her eyes uncomfortably.
"......err, Mogi-san? Did you lose your memory or something?"
"...I can understand you. But please answer my question."
"Of course you're Kasumi Mogi, Mogi-san..."
Oh wow, I'd never say that in my ordinary life.
"I see..."
For some reason, Mogi-san murmurs so, looking a little desolate.
"Well then. It may sound unbelievable, but be prepared and listen. I am---"
Then, Kasumi Mogi, the girl I love, says something completely contradicting.
"---Aya Otonashi."
"------Huh? Aya Otonashi...? Mogi-san is Maria? What's the meaning of this?"
As I am overcome with surprise, Mogi-san continues.
"Yeah, I am Aya Otonashi. I was about to lose confidence myself because absolutely everyone absurdly calls me «Kasumi Mogi» in spite of my different looks and behavior, but I am definitely «Aya Otonashi»."
Well, the person standing in front of me is «Kasumi Mogi». Admittedly, I also have the feeling that this looks and way of speaking exactly fit the «Aya Otonashi» in my memories, but...
"Err... right, there's that split personality thing that happens all the time in mangas, right? Aren't you perhaps in such another personality right now...?"
That's quite absurd as well, but it's still within common knowledge.
"I had this kind of thought, too. But if it was like that, you should rather doubt my different behavior and I shouldn't know the name «Aya Otonashi». Right?"
Right, I never said the name «Aya Otonashi» out loud in front of her.
"In the first place, why did you suddenly turn into Mogi-san?"
"...don't phrase it so ambiguously. I merely changed into the position of «Kasumi Mogi». It's not like I transformed into her. Well... anyhow, how could I explain this situation... Right, you gather that there can't be a «Kasumi Mogi» in this 27,756th time if I'm «Aya Otonashi», don't you?"
I nod.
"«Kasumi Mogi» disappeared. Her position got empty. Do you still remember that I told you that I didn't become a transfer student on my own accord? Perhaps, I was placed into that empty position this time instead of becoming a transfer student."
That's just too... forced.
"There's no way I, no, the entire class would mistake you for Mogi-san!"
"Indeed, that was a big question for me. But a certain other one was solved in return. The 'owner' of the 'Rejecting Classroom' experienced all 27,755 loops. Thus, her personality should have changed, too. Yet, no one noticed."
That may be right.
"It's safe to assume that there's a rule to the 'Rejecting Classroom' that hinders others from noticing the change the 'owner' goes through. Furthermore, the owner's change isn't affected by her relationships. Kasumi Mogi was the 'owner' but disappeared for some reason. And I replaced her. The rule applies, so no one notices anything, although both the appearance and the personality of me, «Aya Otonashi», are completely different."
Mogi-san's explanation sounds plausible for now.
If she really is Maria, that would be a reason to rejoice. It should be. I mean, on my own, I have no clue what to do. But if it's for Maria, she'll surely be able to guide me.
However---
"I don't believe this."
---I can't accept it.
Mogi-san seems surprised at my distinct resistance and widens her eyes.
"...I know it sounds unbelievable, but that's no reason to oppose me like that."
I bite on my lips.
"Ah, I see. You just don't want to accept that fact. Accepting it would also mean to admit that Mogi's the 'owner'. And you don't want to admit that if possible. Which is fair enough. After all you love M---"
"Stop it!!"
I shout reflexively.
You're exactly right! I absolutely do not want to accept that. But I'm not talking about the assertion that she's the 'owner'. What I can't accept is---
"......I love Mogi-san."
I wring out my voice.
"I know."
Mogi-san raises an eyebrow, signifying me that I don't have to tell her this now.
"Therefore --- you can't possibly be Maria...!!"
I clench my fists. Seeing my trembling fists, she should have noticed what I'm trying to say. She opens her eyes wide and closes her mouth.
I love Mogi-san.
That feeling has not changed, even now.
That feeling has not changed --- even now that Mogi-san acts just like «Aya Otonashi».
If everything Mogi-san says is true, then I'm a hopeless fool. Not noticing that my beloved person changed. Not noticing that my beloved person was replaced by Maria. There's no problem with her, it's just that I can't deal with my own feelings.
Love is blind, they say. But this is a whole new level.
Fake.
The love that I have felt for such an unbelievably long period would turn out to be fake.
Therefore, I cannot accept it. I can't accept that she's «Aya Otonashi». The moment I accept it, this love is going to end.
"I love Mogi-san!"
Thus, I say this, what must sound like a proclamation of war to her.
She wordlessly casts down her eyes.
This just now was the worst confession ever. I didn't even think about the other party while confessing. I only did it to deny this situation.
I clench my fists even stronger. But still, I have to say it.
"If you insist on being Maria, then prove it to me!"
She faces down for a few moments.
But before long she opens her eyes determinedly and speaks.
"Kazuki. Even if you give in to the 'Rejecting Classroom', my mission won't change. So at first, I considered letting you be. However, I don't want to do that after all. I don't want you to fall down on your knees because of something like this.
She grasps my right hand. My glance wanders to her. She is staring straight into my eyes.
"So you shall realize now that I'm no one other than «Aya Otonashi»."
She approaches her chest with my hand.
"W-What are you---?"
"I am a 'box'."
She says scornfully.
"Therefore, I am not the same as the human «Kasumi Mogi»."
"Your 'wish' is still being granted and that's it, right? If so, Mogi-san's just the same! Even if you show me your 'box', that doesn't prove that you're «Aya Otonashi»!"
She shakes her head.
"In fairy tales there are those fairies that grant only a single wish, right? When you hear of such a story, have you ever thought of this: «Why not just wish for unlimited wishes»?"
I nod. By doing so, one would have endless wishes. I've already thought about it as well.
"It's a bit embarrassing, but my wish is similar to that."
She says so in self derision.
"My wish was --- «I want to grant others' wishes». I became a being that grants wishes."
"That's---"
Just like the 'box'.
But I think that's a very upright 'wish'. So why does she make such a self-derisive smile?
"But I couldn't fully believe in it's feasibility. The 'box' couldn't completely grant my 'wish'. Every single person that used me, a 'box', disappeared. Because the 'box' had surmised my doubt that says «there's no way 'wishes' would be granted so conveniently in the real world»."
I'm left speechless. Just how much does the 'box' need to toy with our lives until it's satisfied?
"Kazuki, I'll let you touch my 'box'. After that you won't be able to ask such a stupid question like who I am anymore."
She unfolds my hand and pushes it against her chest.
I feel her heartbeat.
At that moment--
"Ah--"
I sink to the ground of the sea. Although it's supposed to be the ground of the sea, it's bright as if the sun has been sunken here as well. It's beautiful. I'm fascinated by the water. But it's cold. I can't breathe.
Everyone seems happy. Everyone seems happy. Everyone seems happy. At the ground of the sea. They frolic around with deep-sea fishes. They suffocate, swell, freeze, get crushed by the water pressure and smile. Nothing has any meaning here. Nothing is important here. Puppet shows all over. And people playing house. And picture story shows. And comedies. A tragedy where everyone is happy.
Amongst them, someone is crying.
Only a single one is crying, surrounded by the others who are happily laughing "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA".
I shake my head. This is my imagination. Just my imagination. I can't see anything here!
But it is already enough to make me realize one thing. Realize someone's feelings, which are unlikely to let me go anymore.
Utter loneliness.

I crawl out of the ground of the sea and return to where I was before.
She has released my hand.
I slowly remove my hand from her chest and exhaustedly drop on my knees.
At the same time I also notice that my cheeks are wet with tears.
I can't deny it anymore. After being shown that, I can't deny it anymore.
"This is my 'box' - 'Flawed Bliss'."
She is --- «Aya Otonashi».
'Mogi-san holds a box, too'? That doesn't matter. It's no argument that could be used to deny Maria. There's no need for logical reasoning. I realized just by touching. I realized that she's Maria.
I'm sure she didn't want to show this to others. Nonetheless, she showed it to me.
So that I won't lose to the 'Rejecting Classroom'.
"Maria, I'm sorry..."
Maria shakes her head with a smile.
"---"
I hate my feelings.
I realized. I realized that she's «Aya Otonashi». And yet, my feelings towards her haven't changed. Her smile looks terribly cute to me. The remains of my love still confuse me without going away.
I feel so mortified that I'm so attached to that love, my tears just won't stop.
"Kazuki."
Maria calls my name.
"Eh?"
And then she takes an unbelievable action.
She embraces me.
Despite knowing what she is doing, I can't understand her action.
She doesn't embrace me the way I'd expect from Maria - she is timid.
"You were the only one that remembered my name."
Maria speaks in riddles.
"If it wasn't for you, I would have been alone. I don't like to admit it, but you supported me. Even during the time I considered you to be the 'owner'. So---"
I finally recognize what she is doing.
"---at least for now, I will support you."
She embraces me tightly. In contrast to her tone she does so only weakly, more like she's enveloping rather than supporting.
"Let me be gentle to you at least for now, while you feel love towards me."
I don't know.
I don't know if this emotion is turned towards «Kasumi Mogi», «Aya Otonashi», or both of them.
The only thing I know is, that I'm unbelievably happy about it.
"Ah."
Perhaps--
Perhaps, Maria didn't only let me touch her 'box' for my sake. Maria didn't want me to call her «Kasumi Mogi». Meaning she wanted me to admit her existence.
After considering that thesis for a only moment, I have to admit that's over-thinking it and laugh unintentionally.

✵

"Hoshii, what did you talk about with Kasumi after I left?"
After school. Haruaki pokes my chest with a big grin.
"She confessed to you! Or something like that?"
"Ah...no..."
She confessed to me that she's «Aya Otonashi», so in a wide sense he's correct, though.
"Oh? You just beat around the bush! Most suspicious! Did I hit the bull's eye?! Damn, I'm jealous! Kasumi has become pretty recently, at that!"
Ah, I see.
Watching Haruaki talking happily, I finally realize what I have to do.
Although it's reassuring that I've reunited with Maria, I had been at a loss what to do because «Kasumi Mogi», the 'owner', disappeared.
«If you make Kazuki Hoshino your enemy, you'll also turn an immortal against you. Me!»
I recall the words Haruaki once said to Maria. This happened pretty long ago, so I'm not too sure about the exact words anymore, though.
Right. I must gain his support, no matter what.
"Haruaki. Can we resume the talk we had before?"
He is taken aback for an instant when I ask him out of the blue, but then he nods with a smile.
"I told you earlier that I realized what I have to do, right? Let me tell you the conclusion that I've arrived at."
I look into Haruaki's eyes and proclaim the war I'm going to fight.
"I will --- fight against the 'Rejecting Classroom'."
He widens his eyes when he hears my sharp declaration.
"Umm, listen... Didn't I explain it to you clearly? Even if we are in that 'Rejecting Classroom', there are no restrictions as long you don't know about it."
"Yeah, but I just can't! I can't possibly permit being in an everyday life where I can't proceed in my life because everything's repeating!"
"Why?"
"Because --- I do know about it, right here, right now."
Maybe everything would pass by with no problems for me if I just forgot about being in the 'Rejecting Classroom'.
However, I do know about it. I know that this is nothing more than a fake everyday life.
Therefore, I can't ignore it.
Maybe it's just for self-satisfaction. Nevertheless, I'm convinced that I'm right and I can't act differently.
"...well, it's up to you. But so, is there a reason that you get so obstinate?"
Haruaki asks purely out of wonder.
A reason...? The reason why I insist on a real everyday life so much? I've thought about it. And really, my attachment to my everyday life might not be normal.
"It seems to me that reason has also to do with life and death..."
Haruaki whispers.
Ah, right. That's it. The reason is so simple.
"It is --- the reason of life."
Haruaki opens his eyes wide as he apparently didn't expect this answer.
"The reason of life? What's that? What do you mean?"
"I can't spell it out well, but... for example, getting 100 points in a test you haven't learned for at all doesn't make you happy, right? You're happy when you get 100 points as a result of learning with utmost effort while aiming for a good mark. Or am I wrong?"
"Indeed, something you obtained after a lot of hardships has more value than something you didn't expend any real effort for."
"In my opinion, pursuing this something is what it means to live. I don't think that's exaggerated. I mean, everyone will die someday. The consequence of life is death! Pursuing only the result is scary for me."
"Everyone will die someday. ...Indeed."
"If this is the 'Rejecting Classroom', where everything is made void, then I can by no means accept it. I have to stay in my everyday life in order to protect my reason of life. Therefore, I deny the 'box' that denies the everyday life."
Haruaki listens to my honest opinion very interestedly.
...maybe I didn't even need to tell him all that. Haruaki would probably help me without conditions.
"Haruaki, will you help me?"
Haruaki gives me the thumbs up without hesitation.

✵

At the suggestion of Haruaki, we decided to also let Kokone and Daiya in on the matter. The five of us had gathered around the bed in that high-class hotel I previously visited with Maria.
I explained the state of things to Kokone and Daiya.
Actually, I expected Maria to complain about it being a waste of time, but in fact she didn't interrupt me and just complemented what I said from time to time. Maybe she wanted to hear some new opinions on the matter.
"Umm... So you're telling us that Kasumi's actually Aya Otonashi-san and not Kasumi, while the real Kasumi is the 'owner' who created the 'Rejecting Classroom' and we don't know her whereabouts... And now you want a solution, huh...? ...No idea what your talking abooout! You've lost me theeere!"
Kokone dumps down on the bed.
"Aah, this bed is awesome."
"I didn't ask for your impressions about the bed, though."
"I know!"
She angrily replies to my joking remark. Probably, Kokone's seriously mulling over it, though, despite behaving like this.
"Let me ask a question..."
Daiya interjects.
"If we're in the 'Rejecting Classroom', that supposedly inevitable accident will occur again, right?"
"It should, yeah."
Maria answers his question.
Huh...? Daiya's serious about it?
"What's with that stupid look, Kazu? You look like a carp in front of its bait, flapping its mouth open and closed."
"Eh, no --- I was just surprised that you believed us about the 'Rejecting Classroom' so readily."
"As if I would believe such a thing!"
Daiya says disdainfully.
"---Uh, huh...?"
"I wouldn't care if it was just you who has a nut loose, but even Mogi's talking weird stuff right now. There may be some other circumstance behind this, but it's too tiresome to think about it. So I decided to accept that 'Rejecting Classroom' for now, and stopped doubting there."
In short, he wants to help us?
"And then, Daiyan? The accident might occur again. And then?"
Haruaki urges him to continue.
"Aah. If the accident will occur as usual, who's going be the victim? Mogi isn't here anymore, is she?"
"Probably... it will be me. It's safe to assume that I took over that role as well, since her position was forced upon me."
"Was it always Kasumi that was run over?"
Haruaki asks.
"No, there were also cases of others getting run over after trying to rescue her. I, Kazuki, Mogi and even you because you tried to save me while I was trying to save Mogi. And not only once. You did so several hundred times."
"Whoa! No kidding? Wait, isn't several hundred times kinda impossible? ...ah, no, not necessarily, huh. It's also plausible that the same person would take the same action in the same situation."
"Even worse, in most cases you had confessed to me beforehand."
Maria sighs.
"A man that sacrifices himself to save the woman he loves... oh wow! Ain't I cool?!"
"To be frank, you should have minded your own business."
"H-How cruel."
"Well, then try imagining our positions reversed. Imagine how much it takes to endure seeing someone sacrifice himself for you because he loves you... your actions tormented me because they made my haughtiness for seeking after the 'box' stand out magnificently. It was the utmost effective way of breaking my heart."
"Weell..."
Haruaki grimaces.
But I guess he won't be able to reconsider since his actions themselves weren't wrong.
"While we're at it, how many times did I confess to you, Aya-chan?"
"Exactly 3,000 times."
"W-Wow, I'm passionate... "
"So you were dumped 3,000 times! That has to be an unprecedented getting-dumped record! Your hopelessness is pretty amazing, Haru!"
"Just shut up, Kiri!"
Those two sure are funny.
"Mogi... ah, no, I'll call you Otonashi for now. Otonashi, why did Mogi head to the scene of the accident each time, despite knowing that the accident would occur?"
Maria raises a brow to Daiya's question and answers.
"Because it's defined in the rules of the 'Rejecting Classroom'. Oomine, I think that you've already seen through me, but I've tried to prevent the accident numerous times."
"Well, of course you wouldn't sacrifice yourself right away. It's more natural to think that you arrived at that way of action after some time. I for one would never choose being run over myself, though."
"Hey, why are you talking about the accident? Nothing will settle as long we don't find Kasumi, right?"
Kokone tilts her head as she interrupts them. Daiya looks away unpleased.
"This humanoid noise player is so getting on my nerves."
"Ahaha. If only you were run over by a truck 20,000 times, no?☆"
"Just asking, Kiri, but how will you find Mogi for us?"
"Well... beats me. And anyhow, do you know?!"
"No clue."
"Oho... I'm amazed that you're able to play innocent while calling me a noise player. Why don't you scrap your last name 'Oomine' and call yourself 'Mr. Innocent', instead? Daiya Innocent. Whoa, fits perfectly!"
"I'm not the only one who doesn't know. The others don't know, either. Right?"
Haruaki and I exchange glances. Well, he's right. If we knew, we'd propose something right away.
"Hence, we have to search for another solution. Consequentially, I addressed the truck accident, which is obviously a special event in this recurrence. A completely normal thought. Ms. Humanoid bullshit player, was my explanation able to reach you?"
"Ugh..."
Kokone grits her teeth vexedly, beaten by his explanation.
"Anyway, we might make some progress by preventing the accident. Hence, it's worth trying. That's your point, right, Daiyan?"
Daiya nods to Haruaki's summary.
"Exactly. But there's no meaning if we can't prevent it."
"No---" Maria denies his statement. "It may be worth trying. I was limited when I was alone, but with this number of people it may work out somehow."
"Does the number of people actually matter? Zero stays zero, no matter by how much you multiply it. Isn't it the same for this kind of impossibility we face?"
Daiya objects.
"I get your point, but I believe there is a possibility. The conditions have changed after all. I am not Mogi, but «Aya Otonashi». The chances might not be zero anymore. So it can't be wrong to improve the chances by increasing the number of people, don't you think?"
Daiya crosses his arms and ponders for a while. At last he nods, "You have a point".
"Alright! It's decided, we'll try it! We'll prevent the accident somehow! Any objections?"
No one objects to Haruaki's summary.
Yeah. That should, probably, work out.

✵

Early morning. One hour before the accident has usually occurred up to now.
We are standing with umbrellas at the scene of the accident, the crossroad.
Haruaki and I have the role to save Maria if needed. It's dangerous if the accident really occurs, but both of us applied for this position of our own free will.
Maria was supposed to find and enter the truck in question. She had voiced the opinion that chances of getting run over by the truck are lowest if she just sits on its driver's seat.
I'm nervous. We mustn't fail. I didn't sleep a wink yesterday. Out of anxiety, and the wish to confirm something, I talked with Maria over phone for several hours.
I look at Haruaki's face next to me.
Unlike me, he doesn't seem nervous. His expression is just as always. The face I have always seen in the 'Rejecting Classroom'.
This time we may be able to destroy it.
--No matter if the accident occurs or not.
"Haruaki, I'd like to talk a bit while we wait. OK?"
"Why so formally? Of course that's OK!"
I unintentionally look up at the sky when I heard the sound of rain drops on my umbrella.
"It's about Mogi-san."
"Kasumi? Umm, not Otonashi-san but the original one?"
I nod.
"I didn't tell you that she... killed us, right?"
"...what's with that violent story?"
Haruaki raises an eyebrow.
It's not like I kept it a secret from him. I simply couldn't remember until I realized that Mogi-san's the 'owner'.
And as if my shackles were broken the moment I recalled who the 'owner' is, I regained all of last time's memories.
"I, Maria, Kokone and probably even you were killed by her."
"...we were killed? By Kasumi? Why so? For what purpose?"
"She did so in order to 'reject' others! Originally, everything is made void in the 'Rejecting Classroom'. So even if you kill someone, it's going to get undone. But it seems Mogi-san is able to 'reject' others by killing them with her own hands. I think she does so because then she can wish to never meet that person again from the bottom of her heart."
Haruaki nods with a serious expression. I have already explained 'rejecting' to him. That by doing so, one can't recall the other party anymore.
"Our Kasumi has, huh... quite unbelievable. But... well, no surprise that even Kasumi gets like this after experiencing almost 30,000 recurrences, I guess. Fair enough."
"Do you really think so?"
I ask him.
"Mh? I mean, it may be hard to imagine, but anyone would get strange being in such a standstill, right?"
"Indeed. But you know what? Even if you went insane, you would still not kill. That thought just doesn't appear normally!"
"You think so? Aren't you too fixated on your own point of view?"
Maybe. But I can't believe it. I mean, murder could only become an effective way to 'reject' because she felt guilt by doing so. I can't believe that such a person could think of such an inhuman crime on her own.
"...you confessed to Maria 3,000 times and were run over several hundred times in place of her, right?"
"Seems like that. I can't recall as I am right now, though."
"Yeah. But, regarding the result, your actions did torment her, right?"
"Ah---... not on purpose, though."
Haruaki says with a bitter smile.
"She was tormented by it so much because any message, no matter how absurd it is, gains weight accordingly when being repeated so many times. For example: no matter how much you think that you're beautiful yourself, if someone tells you a thousand times that you're ugly, you'll lose that self-confidence. Even if the other party is only joking."
"Well, I guess so."
"Thus, Maria couldn't help but get conscious of you when you confessed to her 3,000 times. And we're talking about Maria. Believe me, she wasn't unaffected when you opposed her."
«If you make Kazuki Hoshino your enemy, you'll also turn an immortal against you. Me!»
I recall those words again.
"...oh? Did I set the flag for Aya-chan's route?"
I smile lightly and ignore his joke.
"So, what if there had been someone who suggested murder to Mogi-san a thousand times? Wouldn't that make Mogi-san believe that there's no other way? After all she couldn't even rely on anyone and was on the verge of going insane."
Haruaki nods.
"...I admit that would be tough. And it's actually possible. After all, the one who talks to her would be in a standstill. His actions and values don't change. It would only be natural to say the same things over and over. If he said something once, he'd probably say the same thing several thousand times."
"As you say. But it wouldn't be problematic in that case. That'd be like an accident, right? But look---"
Finally, I move my glance away from the threatening sky.
"---what if someone chose his words and actions purposely in order to corner her?"
And then I --- focus on Haruaki.
Haruaki doesn't show any signs of unrest even when I stare at him.
"Mh? But that's impossible, isn't it?"
Haruaki's expression is still just like always.
"It isn't! For example, it would have been possible for Maria and me if we wanted. I mean, in other words, if there was someone who kept pretending having lost his memories in front of Mogi-san, it's possible!"
Haruaki listens to my words silently without objection.
"Being able to retain one's memory must be a superior power - is what I originally thought. After all, you'd usually think that the more information the better, right? But that's not true. Continuing to retain one's memory does also mean to be continuously attacked by those without memory and by those who pretend to have no memories. The ones without memory are in a safe zone. They can attack us, who stand on the foremost line, from there."
I experienced such an attack, too, when the girl I love replied with «Please wait until tomorrow» to my confession. She wasn't in the safe zone, though.
"What if there was someone who attacked Mogi-san deliberately from that safe place? Someone who was aware of her pain, who took care that she wouldn't find a way to escape and who prepared the answer 'murder' for her. If so---"
"If so, you can say that this guy controlled Kasumi and deliberately assisted the murders."
Haruaki casually says so.
He doesn't deny my claim.
"We can't be sure that Mogi-san was the only target."
"...but?"
"I mean, she wasn't the only one standing at the foremost line. Maria and I were there, too. It depends on that person's goals, but maybe he also tried to control Maria and me. No... we may already be controlled more or less."
«---wanna try killing me?»
I recall those words someone once said to me.
And really, I haven't heard those words only once. He said them to me countless times. Those words stuck to my head like a curse.
That's not all. I was shown corpses.
Maria was confessed to, had to watch someone sacrificing himself for her and was met with rejection.
This was all the relevant information I managed to pull from my fragmentary memory. There might have been some smaller traps I didn't notice.
Continuously attacking from a safe place with no risks. Even if it didn't go as expected, one could redo this attack unlimited times.
"If we assume that our actions were controlled by that person to a certain degree---"
I gulped down.
"---he also planned the situation we're currently in."
Haruaki keeps silent. His face is hidden by his umbrella, so I can't see his expression.
The silence continues. The sound of the rain seems strangely loud to me. I hear a small voice. At first, I wonder what it is, but when I perked up my ears, I realize that it is a suppressed laughter.
Haruaki moves his umbrella and shows me his face.
He stares at me and laughs amusedly.
"Umm, Hoshii. What's this joke, or rather grand hypothesis supposed to be? First, it's definitely impossible. It's not that easy to control others, is it? Sure, it's a funny story. But to be honest, I don't know whether it's okay to laugh or not because you make such a serious face... wait, I already laughed anyway because it's so funny."
"Yeah, I guess I was too indirect for you."
"...Indirect? Anyhow, I don't even get what that guy would want to achieve. But whatever it is, there should be an easier way."
Haruaki is still talking in a bright voice.
"Yeah. I don't know his motive, either. So I thought about asking you."
"...asking me?"
When I say this, I won't be able to withdraw anymore.
"Haruaki---"
But I've lost the intention to withdraw long ago.

"---why did you corner us into this?"

He doesn't answer.
His face is once again hidden by his umbrella.
He doesn't say anything. Probably, he doesn't intend to tell me anything.
"I don't know what the occasion was anymore, but we became friends shortly after I entered school. And thanks to you, I could also become friends with Kokone and Daiya. Probably, my school life would have been a bit more boring if it wasn't for you. It's all thanks to you."
If so, I have to do the talking in his place.
"It hasn't been a year yet since we became friends, but---"
"So, you say that you can't judge whether I'd do something like this?"
I shake my head. Haruaki probably can't see me, though.
"There are lots of things I don't know about you. But there is something I know for sure. I can say at least this without fail."
I declare.
"Haruaki Usui would never do something like cornering us."
I can finally see his expression.
Haruaki looks at me with widened eyes.
"So---"
I finally say it.

"So--- who are you?"

«Oh? You just beat around the bush! Most suspicious! Did I hit the bull's eye?! Damn, I'm jealous! Kasumi has become pretty recently, at that!»
Haruaki has said those insignificant words.
But I noticed something there.
There is a rule to the 'Rejecting Classroom'. The surrounding people don't notice Mogi-san's change. They don't notice anything even when she's replaced by «Aya Otonashi». So how? Just how?
---how could he say that Kasumi has become pretty?
That's not the only suspicious point.
Haruaki had been 'rejected'.
Even I had forgotten about him. But I managed to remember him again.
'I remembered because he's a dear friend'. That's how I interpreted it. But why could I remember him when I couldn't remember a single other person that had been 'rejected'?
It's just a hypothesis, but I think I didn't forget him completely because someone else had been mixed into Haruaki.
Both of them don't count as proof. No, they're full of gaps.
But that doesn't matter anymore.
Because I have remembered.
Because I have remembered something that I shouldn't be able to remember.
"Do you have a wish?"
"This is a 'box' that grants any wish."
The words of someone who could become anyone, but could become no one as well.
"Tell me what you're up to!"
And then I say his name.
I say the name of the distributor of the 'box', whom I had forgotten all the time.
His name is--
"---'0'"
And the moment I say this name---
"Fufu"
---Haruaki vanishes from Haruaki's face.
It's not like the shape of his head changed. Haruaki just isn't in the smile on his face anymore. The fake that has only disguised himself in Haruaki's skin.
The image that has chased us all the time is finally about to become clear.
---'0'.
"Geez. Nobody should actually know this name except the current 'owner' of this 'box', you know? Strange."
"You were careless with your words."
"Careless?"
'0' giggled, seeming truly amused.
"I wasn't careless at all. I don't need to be careful of anything originally. You are abnormal because you were able to become aware of me with those hints!"
"You think so?"
"Then tell me; when you see someone acting a bit unusual, do you think right away 'This is someone else. Someone took him over.'?"
I have to admit that he's right. No matter how suspicious someone acts, it's unreasonable to consider him to be another person.
"And yet, you found me. Which means that you knew of me, a possible cause for such an occurrence. Though nobody should be able to remember my existence."
"If I shouldn't be able to, why did I?"
"Who knows? It's really mysterious. Maybe Aya Otonashi's existence influenced you? Well, just because you were taught by someone, you should still not be able to notice me, though."
'0' is talking pleasantly. But at the current point I don't care about such things.
"...Aah, you want to know my intention? Okay! There's nothing to hide. I --- only wanted to observe you from up close."
As I hear this, I start to feel it.
Aah --- again.
The same strange uncomfortable sensation that I felt when I met him the first time. I feel it once again.
What is it? What is this feeling again?
"...I don't get it! How does this make you corner Mogi-san?"
"The intention why I cornered the 'owner'? As I said, because I wanted to observe you. But well, let's explain it a little easier."
'0' starts to talk amusedly.
"I wanted to see how you react to someone else's 'box'. When Kasumi Mogi's flawed 'wish' of redoing her past was granted, I was so thoughtless to rejoice for an moment. I was happy because I became able to observe you, involved in a 'box', over a long time period. ...but it didn't take long to notice that this was a mistake. Because, naturally, I want to observe you in as much various situations as possible. But I can't do that within this 'box' that you people call 'Rejecting Classroom'. Everyone takes the same action all the time, naturally including you. No matter how much Kasumi Mogi and Aya Otonashi stabilize their own memory, it's not interesting at all if the important one, you, doesn't retain his memories."
I embrace myself because of this uncomfortable sensation.
"Therefore, I decided to interfere with you. I turned into Haruaki Usui because of his central position from where I can easily influence all three of you. Well, I allowed myself to build a desirable environment for me by taking advantage of Haruaki Usui, Aya Otonashi and Kasumi Mogi, and implemented the retention of your memory in the system. Thanks to that I was able to observe you quite nicely!"
"So, could it be that you manipulated Mogi-san to kill me because you wanted to...?"
"Yes, I wanted to see how you react to a deadly attack by the girl you love."
...for that, Mogi-san had to suffer non-stop.
"Ah, and it was also for that reason that I induced this love to you, of course."
"Wha--"
My feelings were induced---?
"Oh? I was sure you had noticed. Ah, I see. So you didn't want to notice. Fufu... such moments are what makes it worth being close to you. To tell the truth, I don't need to be in this 'box' to observe you. But then I would probably overlook moments such as this. Watching from outside the 'box' is really bothersome, yes, almost like peering through the lens of a super high efficient telescope from far in space. It is possible to see. But the focusing is bothersome. That's about the feeling of it. So, while being a byproduct, it was really fortunate that I could watch you from close up as Haruaki Usui!"
I finally realize what this uncomfortable feeling really is.
Right. It is --- dread.
It's not like I haven't felt dread until now. But this dread differs just too widely from its usual form, which is why I failed to recognize it.
"Well then, Kazuki Hoshino-kun. What are you going to do?"
I can't form any words.
Because I became aware of this dread, I can't open my mouth.
"Did you think that everything would settle by exposing that «I» am inside Haruaki Usui? Surely, I seem to be human right now. And since I'm also a murderer, you could just hand me over to the Police and call it settled. But that's not it, right? Your goal is to regain your everyday life, isn't it? Nothing settles by talking to me!"
He is dangerous. More dangerous than anything else I've come across so far.
"This is also a reason why I didn't hide the fact that I turned into Haruaki Usui more than necessary. Indeed, the 'box' is in my possession now because I stole it from the 'owner'. I could show it to you right now. But there's no need to do so. Neither is there the need to hand it over to you, just because you remembered me. You haven't got the power to force me to, either."
He is interested in me. But only as a test subject. No more, no less. And naturally I have no idea how to deal with someone who treats me like this.
Therefore---
"---yeah, surely not."
---of course I could never speak that disrespectfully.
"Kazuki alone doesn't have that power."
'0', however, looks at me, searching for the origin of this voice.
But he is correct. The voice came from my bag.
The klaxon of a truck resounded. With its engine roaring, a big truck drives towards us. '0' looks in its direction and frowns slightly. The truck that is rushing towards us is awfully familiar to me.
And sitting in its driver's seat was, Maria.
"I missed you, '0'!"
This voice resounds from the mobile phone in my bag that I have left turned on for our entire conversation.
The truck, driving towards us. Us, standing our ground. The sound of an emergency stop. The braking doesn't go as planned due to the rain. The truck drawing closer and closer. But '0' doesn't step back. And neither do I when I see him not moving. I instinctively close my eyes.
The sound of the emergency stop fades away.
I open my eyes. The truck has literally stopped before my very eyes.
"What is this bluff supposed to achieve?"
'0' smiles faintly and poses this question to the figure in the driver's seat.
"Just a little welcome. How fortunate that you weren't run over as substitute of Kasumi, huh?"
I can hear this voice from both ahead of me and from my bag. After getting out of the truck, Maria finally removes the Bluetooth headset and terminates our telephone call.
'0' is staring at Maria who stands in front of us without an umbrella.
"So you listened to our entire conversation. In other words, you two didn't care about this strategy to begin with. Too bad - I would have loved to see Kazuki getting discouraged by the outcome of this strategy."
"I was seriously considering this strategy the time you proposed it. But as it seems, Kazuki knew of your true form and let me in the dark."
I didn't really mean to, though. I merely didn't know when to tell her that I found out.
However, I did choose the timing to effectually talk to Haruaki after making him cooperate.
"But that was the right choice in the end. Because if I had been by his side, you might have continued to play dumb."
"Did you go stealing the truck just to appeal being far away? Well, thank you for your efforts. But why should I play dumb when you are here? You might be a 'box', but that does not mean that you are able to do anything."
"What, so you didn't know? Seems like my efforts were pointless. Well then, let me ask; you know of my 'Flawed Bliss', right?"
"Yeah, I know of it. And I also know that you cannot do me any harm me with it."
Maria laughed at '0'.
"Fufu, you really won't ever comprehend us humans. Maybe you get it if I phrase it like this: 'I have made the preparations to erase you'."
'0' reacts to her words with a wry smile.
"You can only cram others into your own 'box', can you not? So how would you be able to do that?"
"It seems you still don't know why I was fixated on Kazuki."
She suddenly calls my name. '0' looks at me. Although these eyes are kind, they look scary to me. They seem like the eyes of someone who looks at pork and thinks about how to prepare it.
"......I see."
'0' smiles.
"So you got it at last. Kazuki's got a gift for using 'boxes'. He might be able to master even my 'Flawed Bliss'. And he would certainly wish for his everyday life to continue. For his everyday without beings that menace it. Like the 'boxes'. Like you."
Maria scowls at '0' as she declares.
'0' isn't overwhelmed by those words, nor is he surprised, nor is he amazed. He just casts down his eyes sorrowfully.
"I see. So you haven't changed at all."
'0' replies like this.
He says this to her who has surpassed everyone else after going through 27,755 loops.
"By doing so, an inferior 'box' like you would disappear as well."
Maria doesn't even flinch.
"I'm aware of that."
"I figured."
'0', however, still looks sorrowful. He doesn't even seem to worry about the possibility of himself getting erased.
"Can you still not live for your own sake? Can you only move for the sake of someone else? I pity you from the bottom of my heart for such a miserable way of life!"
"Your pity can't even be used as fish bait."
"At first I was interested in this uncommon characteristic of yours, but it is worth nothing. A human that does not have any desire is just the same as a machine. I could as well use a vacuum cleaner as an object of observation. To me you are the most boring existence there is!"
Maria vexedly grits her teeth upon hearing '0's words. Fair enough. Instead of being perceived as an opponent, she gets pitied by the enemy.
"Okay. I do not want to get erased, so let's make a deal. I will hand over the 'box' to you. In return I want you to leave me at large. What do you think?"
"...hmpf, quite selfish conditions, considering that you're about to get erased."
"You should be thankful that I even respond to your very doubtful threat. It is not certain that Kazuki Hoshino would really use your 'box'. And I do not even want to imagine how low the chances are that I would disappear if he used the box. I am doing this unnecessary conciliation only to express my respect to Kazuki-kun for finding me, you know?"
"Conciliation? What you'll hand over to us is an old birdcage in which you caged Kazuki. You can prepare new birdcages as much as you want, can't you? You have already had enough of it and would have changed it to a new one soon anyway, right?"
"I'll leave that up to your imagination."
"Hmpf... Kazuki, are you okay with that?"
Maria asks for my affirmation. I nod. I'm fine as long as we can do something about the 'Rejecting Classroom'.
"Kazuki Hoshino-kun. May I give you one word of advice?"
'0' asks me such a thing.
"You are someone who doesn't wish for change. But most of the 'owner's wish for just that when they obtain a 'box'. They may want to obtain something. They may want to become something. They may want to get rid of something. They all try to make a desire of that kind come true. Consequently, you're naturally antagonizing them."
I frown since I fail to grasp the intention behind his words.
"Kazuki Hoshino-kun. Do you consider yourself abnormal?"
He asks me this.
"...I'm normal."
When he hears my answer, he smiles.
"I see. But I'm afraid you're abnormal! However, you needn't worry if you don't like that. The time you'll be able to stay abnormal is rather short. Eventually, people like you either get repelled or lose their abnormality, adapting to society. Don't worry! You're one of the latter, no doubt about it."
He says without stopping to smile.
"And that is why --- you are truly ill-fated."
He speaks, looking really glad.
"What I mean is that you have learned that such loopholes do exist. Every time you meet with a regretful event you will think: «If only I had a 'box'...» No matter how much you'll struggle in order to forget about it, unfortunately the 'boxes' do exist. The 'boxes' that grant any wish do exist. You won't ever be able to forget about the existence of that loophole. And eventually, when you've been living with that knowledge, the time you need the 'box' will definitely come!"
He is still smiling.
Aah, I see--
I handed back the 'box'. But it was futile to do so. By then I was already bound by '0's curse.
"At the point you need the 'box', you might have already lost your abnormality. If so, you won't be able to master the 'box' anymore. That will reduce my interest a little. Therefore I'm going to continue interfering with you and your surroundings a bit from now on - to arouse your interest in the 'box'."
What should I have done to prevent getting cursed?
---Probably, there was no way to prevent it.
I --- no, we had already lost at the very moment we encountered '0'.
"Naturally, I'll provide you with a 'box' even if you lose your abnormality. I don't mind - as long as you let me listen to your sound."
"...Sound?"
"Yes, I like any tone color you humans produce, but there is a sound I like predominantly. If possible I'd like you to let me listen to that sound. ...Mh? What sound it is, you ask? My taste is completely ordinary, so I think you know already. It's ---"
He smiles and said,

"--- the sound of creaking hearts."

With these words '0', who looks like Haruaki Usui, disappears.
A small box falls to the place '0' has been standing. When I reach out for it, it starts to expand itself automatically.
Right after this, the entire scenery starts to get folded up. I can see the walls of this world. The white wallpapers start to crumble to dust. The sweetness that has stuck to my skin disappeared, leaving behind dull discomfort. My semicircular canals go crazy and start to turn around. The sound of destruction. The sound of destruction. The sound of someone's destruction. This place is filled with despair. Undeniable despair.
The faked background has been erased and we are standing inside a dark chamber. A small, small chamber in which I would surely get sick if I had to be there for even just half a day.
This is probably --- the inside of the 'box'.
And in this prison-like room, she is crouching. With her forehead pressed on her knees and her arms around her legs.
This is the girl I loved.
"......Mogi... san."
Upon hearing my words, she slowly raises her face.
"Ah---"
A faint light flares up in her eyes that seemed almost dead just now.
"I can't believe it! There's no way everything could go that well for me!"
Tears flow down her cheeks.
At first that seems very strange to me, but I quickly notice the reason.
"---you really came to save me."
I see.
You can shed tears again.
"Mogi-san, I'm sorry. But I plan to destroy the 'Rejecting Classroom'."
"...yeah."
Mogi-san nods while in tears.
"I plan to let you die in the accident."
"......yeah."
She wipes off her tears.
"You may destroy the 'box'. You may also end my life. But please wait a moment. There's something I want to tell you."
Saying so, Mogi-san starts to look for something in her bag. She takes something out and hides it behind her back.
Maria frowns at Mogi-san's behavior.
"Mogi... not again..."
Mogi-san ignores Maria and approaches me, hiding her hands behind her back.
"...wait, Mogi! Please stop this alrea---"
"That's not it, Maria."
I admonish Maria. I can't see what Mogi-san is hiding. But I already know already what it is.
Maria reacts to my words with a dubious expression and goes around Mogi-san. When she recognizes the object in Mogi-san's hands, she only smiles wryly in amazement.
"Kazu-kun, do you think there are unchanging feelings?"
Mogi-san asks me.
I know what to answer right away. But for her, it isn't a pleasant answer.
Thus, I have quite some trouble saying it.
I guess my answer would be different if I hadn't experienced the 'Rejecting Classroom'. But I have experienced it. I have experienced this world that is close to eternity. Therefore I can't help thinking so. Unchanging feelings---
"---there aren't, I think."
Mogi-san listens to my answer patiently.
Then she smiles.
"Yeah, I think so, too."
I peer into her eyes without thinking. As it seems she has already predicted this reaction, so she keeps smiling and continues.
"My feelings for you didn't stay the same at all. You stopped being dear to me. I started disliking you, I hated you, I considered you a hindrance. I was even about to kill you, once. But you know? That means that I was depending on you all the time. Because I was always believing that you would rescue me from here. Always, always... I couldn't ignore you. I know that it's the worst and most selfish feeling there is. But you know? I couldn't help it. Even while knowing that I was being selfish. I know how this feeling is called. Even if you don't believe in unchanging feelings, please believe just that. During all the time I've spent in the 'Rejecting Classroom'--"
Mogi-san embraces me very reservedly.
And gives me the object she has been hiding.
Her lips tremble right beside my ear.
"--I loved you, Kazu-kun."
Her lips approach mine. Just as they are about to touch, she stops. After staying like this for a while, she retracts her lips peacefully without having touched mine.
Initially I want to ask why she had stopped, but I reconsider.
Because of what she has handed over to me.
"Ah--"
In my hands is the reason why she couldn't do anything.
I understand and chewed on my lips.
It is something different from I expected.
It is an Umaibō.
That is still as expected. But it's not my favorite flavor 'Corn Potage'. It is Teriyaki Burger flavor. The type I don't like that much. Furthermore---
---it is the type that Mogi-san was supposed to give to me, originally.
Why did Mogi-san embrace me so reservedly? Why didn't she kiss me?
This wasn't the confession of the Kasumi Mogi that has already confessed to me countless times, that has already kissed me and has experienced the 'Rejecting Classroom'.
It was the first confession of the Kasumi Mogi before the 'Rejecting Classroom', who could only call me 'Hoshino-kun'.
'I want to redo March 02.'
The deepest regret she had on that day
She set it right just now.
So --- I have to answer as if it were the real March 02 now...?
I look at Mogi-san.
Mogi-san is smiling gently. She is waiting with a gentle smile, though knowing my answer already.
"That's--"
That's just too cruel!
I don't want to say such a thing.
I mean, I loved Mogi-san. Even if these feelings were controlled by '0', the feelings themselves weren't fake.
Why do I have no other choice but to speak words that will hurt her?
Aah, of course.
I 'rejected' this 'box'. I denied Mogi-san's wish. I'm going to let her die in that accident. I don't have the right to say kind words to her.
I open my mouth.
Still, it is quite hard to say it. I hesitate, opening and closing my mouth numerous times, but then I get startled by a salty liquid in my mouth.
But I can't think of any other words to say to her.

"Please wait until tomorrow."

Mogi-san casts down her eyes sorrowfully.
She is definitely hurt by these words. And yet, she instantly changes her expression again. She tells me,
"Thank you."
---with a smile.
With a smile coming from the bottom of her heart.

Aah--
Due to this smile, I finally remember.
A conversation from some time ago.
The conversation that made me fall in love with her.
The conversation that was the trigger for this ephemeral love.
A dear remembrance.

«Hoshino-kun. Can you please call me Kasumi...?»
«Eh? W-Why, all of the sudden?»
«It may seem sudden to you, but I've wanted you to address me like this all the time, you know?»
«I... see.»
«So... is it okay?»
«O-Okay...»
«A-Also, err, well --- can I call you Kazu-kun?»
«Err... yeah, I don't mind.»
«O-Okay, so try calling me.»
«......Kasumi.»
«...please say it once more.»
«Kasumi.»
«...Thank you.»
«Wha...! W-Why are you crying...?!»
«Mh? Am I crying?»
«Y-You are...!»
«Then... it's because I'm so happy, Kazu-kun.»
And then Kasumi laughed, still with tears in her eyes.
I have never seen a smile like that before.
It was a smile that was full of pure happiness.
It was the first time I was able to bring so much happiness to someone. This sensation was very new to me, so I got extremely happy.
To bring happiness to someone is happiness.
I was happy to have discovered such a side of me and she, who taught me this feeling, became a special existence to me.
Maybe I'm simple.
But that smile managed to change me, without a doubt.

But I'm going to erase this recollection.
I'm going to erase this newly known feeling.

I think that's just too cruel. I think there was not need to for such an obstacle at the very last moment. I think it's just too cruel to make me destroy such a thing with my own hands.
But even so, I have already chosen.
I have already chosen a long time ago.
I mean, even this remorse would get erased by the 'Rejecting Classroom' right away, won't it?
"Maria, can you grant me a request?"
So I just want someone to give me a little push while I'm hesitating.
"Tell me."
"You should know what I'm going to do now."
"Yeah, because I've watched you more than anyone else in the world."
"What am I going to do now? I just want you to tell me this."
Maria nods with a serious expression. Maria doubtlessly knows the reason why I'm asking for this.
"You're going to trample it down!"
But Maria doesn't use any gentle words.
"You're going to trample down the clumsy 'wish' of someone else for the sake of your own 'wish'! It's the one thing you won't abandon under any circumstances, Kazuki."
Yeah. I believe that I am right.
"Therefore, you will --- destroy the 'box'."
I nod to Maria's words.
I use my entire left arm and wipe off my tears.
"It's as you say."
I stand in front of the wall.
The gray wall surrounding us is thin as if it were made of paper. This 'box' has no power anymore. It's merely enclosing my recollections and hinders them from disappearing for just a little longer.
I want to turn around and check up Kasumi's expression.
But I have the feeling that I mustn't.
I hold my right hand aloft.
In order to destroy the 'box', Kasumi's 'wish' and my recollections.
"Thank you. So in the end it really was you who rescued me, Kazu-kun."
Please stop!
You don't have any reason to thank me. I am only trampling down. I'm only trampling down your mistaken 'wish'.
Sorry.
Please forgive me for not being able to save you.
Therefore I ignore her voice.
But, thank you.
Because you smiled at the end, I can finally believe in myself.
"UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
I scream from the top of my lungs and beat the wall as powerfully as I can.
The wall breaks easily, like glass, with a loud sound.
Within one of the scattering pieces I can see Kasumi and myself. We are happily smiling at each other.
This piece falls down, breaks, and crumbles to dust.
White light starts to shine in from the outside. The more the wall crumbles down, the more is the darkness corroded by the light. Except for us everything gets painted over and disappears.
It is bright; I can't see anything.
But cruelly, Kasumi is there. The original Kasumi is clearly there.
Kasumi is lying tumbled on the street. Stained in blood. It looks so painful that I want to avert my eyes.
But Kasumi is smiling. She is smiling with all her might for me.
Her mouth opens.
"Goodbye."

And then we are enfolded in pure white and disappear.
The white light enters my body. The light violently searches for my gaps and encroaches me. It paints my insides, my blood, my heart and my brain white. The white light invades even my memory and paints it white. My fake, but valuable recollections. This new feeling I have learned. The words we just exchanged.
Everything gets erased into white.
Everything gets erased into white.
Everything gets erased into white---